The leg lamp!
  http://acs.flicklives.com/collect/red_ryder_leg_lamp.jpg) 
 Mr. Parker: [Unveiling his major award] Would you look at that? Would you look at THAT? 
 Mother: What is it? 
 Mr. Parker: It's a leg! 
 Mother: But what is it? 
 Mr. Parker: Well, it's... A leg, you know, like a statue. 
 Mother: Statue? 
 Mr. Parker: Yeah, statue. 
 Ralphie: Yeah, statue. 
 Mother: Ralphie! 
 Narrator: My mother was trying to insinuate herself between us and the statue. 
 Mr. Parker: Holy smokes. Do... Do you know what this is? This is... A lamp! 
 Narrator: It was indeed a lamp. 
 Mr. Parker: Isn't that great? What a great lamp. 
 Mother: I don't know... 
 Narrator: The old man's eyes boggled... 
 Mr. Parker: Oh WOW! 
 Narrator: ...Overcome by art.  
 Mr. Parker: It's a Major Award! 
 Swede: Shucks I wouldn't know that. It looks like a lamp. 
 Mr. Parker: What is a lamp, you nincompoop? Tt's a Major Award. I won it! 
 Swede: Damn, hell, you say won it? 
 Mr. Parker: Yeah, mind power, Swede; mind power.