It sounds weird, but I'll give you advice, and it's cheaper than calling the Psychic Hotline. 
 
 I'll take your problems.
  
 
  
  
    Nobody wants your advice. You'll just laugh at their problems.
  
 
  
  
    Wait. I do.
 
 I have this annoying person I know, not really a friend, that is starting an advice topic like yours, on a web forum I go to. How can I tell them they're an idiot and the internet is just for downloading and discussing illegal software?
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave:
 
 My boss keeps on making innappropriate comments to me at work. I like working for him but I think he has a thing for me.Should I sue him or sit on his lap like he says?
 
 -Klia
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave:
 
 My boss keeps on making innappropriate comments to me at work. I like working for him but I think he has a thing for me.Should I sue him or sit on his lap like he says?
 
 -Klia
 Dear Klia
 
 This is a highly popular problem I'm asked with, except it's the math teacher. I say you ask him out, and turn into the psycho obsessive girlfriend. He'll dump you, and you'll be free of your creepy boss. That, or take in a slutty friend of your to work one day and hook the two of them up. 
 
 -Avery
  
 
  
  
    Wait. I do.
 
 I have this annoying person I know, not really a friend, that is starting an advice topic like yours, on a web forum I go to. How can I tell them they're an idiot and the internet is just for downloading and discussing illegal software?
 Dear Cheez,
 
 I say you go keep your opinions to yourself. Having opinions in life and expressing them will only get you killed in a driveby.
 
 -Avery
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
 
 I recently tried to write a songish-type-thing, but failed miserably. Unfortunately I somehow ended up listening to emo songs (I seriously have no idea how that happened), and now I feel like chopping my ears off with scissors. What should I do?
 
 -Samuel
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
  I recently tried to write a songish-type-thing, but failed miserably. Unfortunately I somehow ended up listening to emo songs (I seriously have no idea how that happened), and now I feel like chopping my ears off with scissors. What should I do? 
 -Samuel
 Dear Samual, 
 I can see you're probably down. Why don't you look up some funny online videos, like the Numa Numa dance or the Kitty Kat Dance. Or..... Here is a like to Santino's(from Rroject Runway) website. It's got some laughs for a Project Runway Fan or not  
www.santinorice.com)
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave Bad,
 
 Venture Bros. season 2 comes out in June, how should I prepare,
 
 Crapfully yours,
 -Smon
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave Bad,
 
 Venture Bros. season 2 comes out in June, how should I prepare,
 
 Crapfully yours,
 -Smon
 Dear Smon, 
 
 I say you shpuld prepare yourself by making a countdown calender and watching all the episodes you can cram into your TV viewing schedual.
 
 -Ave
  
 
  
  
    Wow, Ave! I feel better already just thinking about Numa Numa Man! Thanks, I will recommend you to everyone I know. :D
  
 
  
  
    I know, now you pay me..... you know what I want...
  http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/files/santino_cometodaddy.mp3)
 Oh, ya'll know I was just trying to find an excuse to use this Santino clip.
  
 
  
  
    I wish I could, but I already gave my soul to these guys (
http://www.wewantyoursoul.com/). Sorry. :(
  
 
  
  
    Oh rats, well, I just wanted to find an excues to use that sound clip. If you're new to the Razputin's Domain boards, let me tell you this....
  http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/files/kara_crazy.mp3)
  
 
  
  
    I guess playing Pychonauts does that to you. :D
 I mostly hang around the Jediknight and offtopic forums, so yeah, I'm not from around here. :p
  
 
  
  
    Yeah, I just hope you haven't read 'the fanfiction' yet. I f**** a person up, completly.
  
 
  
  
    Dear Darth_Ave, 
 Everyone hates me and I wish
 they didn't. What should I do to 
 tell them I'm sorry and not get kicked 
 off of the foarm?
 
 -Zelda
  
 
  
  
    Dear Darth_Ave, 
 Everyone hates me and I wish
 they didn't. What should I do to 
 tell them I'm sorry and not get kicked 
 off of the foarm?
 
 -Zelda
 "*ahem*
 
 Dear Zelda,
 
 You should go home and eat some dirt.
 
 Then you will totally be cool.
 
 -Darth_Ave
 
 *cough*"
 
 ....my ventriloquism rules...
  
 
  
  
    Oh, what did I just hit my head on???
  
 
  
  
    Dear Darth,
 I hate puppets. And I don't know why. Why do I hate puppets?
 Here's your payment.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Carrey)
  
 
  
  
    Dear Psychochaos,
 
 You probably hate puppets becahse either,
 1. You've had some bad expierences with puppets
 or,
 2. You've just seen some wacked up puppets in your lifetime.
  
 
  
  
    Dear Psychochaos,
 
 You probably hate puppets becahse either,
 1. You've had some bad expierences with puppets
 or,
 2. You've just seen some wacked up puppets in your lifetime.
 Thanks. I feel relieved. Now that I know why(it was the second one. turns out I watched Chucky when I was 5) I can live with my hatred.
  
 
  
  
    No problem in helping!! Told you I was good, Cheez! You man-whore.
  
 
  
  
    Yeah from last night. Oh burned so bad.
  
 
  
  
    Ave, do you know what the hell a 'benefriend' is?
  
 
  
  
    Dear Davinq, 
 
 A 'Benefriend" is probably a friend with benefits. 
 
 Darth_Ave
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
 
 I'm Hungry. What should I do?
 
 St. Jimmy
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
 
 Jimmy's back. What should I do?
 
 ~Dav
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
 
 I'm Hungry. What should I do?
 
 St. Jimmy
 Dear Jimmy, 
 
 Walk to the fridge and get some cheese or somthing. I like cheese, mabe you could make a sandwich. Or a bowl of cereal. Whatever floats your boat.
 
 Avery
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
 
 Cheese by itself? .... Cereal is the devil's creation. And there's nothing to put on a sandwich, except maybe some vegemite... Cheese is sounding good..
 
 Jimmy.
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
 
 Jimmy's back. What should I do?
 
 ~Dav
 Dear Davinq, 
 
 Celebrate my friend! now is a time for jubuliation! And parties!
 
 Ave
  
 
  
  
    Dear Ave,
 read the HEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEE! Thread
 what do you think?
 -Lex
  
 
  
  
    I NEVER LEAVE A QUESTION UNANSWERED!!
 
 Dear Turtle,
 
 Just do some freeform or somthing. Maybe write a rap. 
 
 Avery
  
 
  
  
    I haven't been visisting here as often and feel that I may be losing touch with the RD lifestyle. So I guess my question is: What time is it in china-land RIGHT NOW?
 
 P.S. I really do think I'm losing touch with RD.
  
 
  
  
    So come here more often....
  
 
  
  
    ~sigh~ 
 
 Dear Ave, 
 
 I'm really sad lately, 
 
 Love, Ave.
  
 
  
  
    ~sigh~ 
 
 Dear Ave, 
 
 I'm really sad lately, 
 
 Love, Ave.
 *Ahem**cough*
 
 Dear Ave,
 You should try to find something odd to do. Like 
 finger exercises or card houses. You know what,
 forget the card houses. Try God of War 2
 , from Ave
 
 Why do I sound like Mr.Rogers?
  
 
  
  
    emo
 Sad people aren't emo. everybody feel sad once in a while.
 
 Emos are sad because they want to be.
  
 
  
  
    emo
 :spinnaz: :spinnaz: THEY SEE ME ROLLIN ,THEY HATIN'! CONTROLIN AND TRYIN TO CATCH ME RIDIN DIRRRRRTY! :spinnaz: :spinnaz:
 
 I feel better already!
  
 
  
  
    dear ave,
 
 i want to be able to pop, lock, and drop it but my thighs aren't thick enough. what should i do?
 
 lvoe, das
  
 
  
  
    Dear Das, 
 
 Either foam padding, or McDonalds.
 
 Luvz, Ave
  
 
  
  
    Dear ave,
 i feel very emo and depressed
 
 wat do i do?
 
 ~zel
  
 
  
  
    Dear Darth_Ave,
 What do you think of this? (
http://www.dewalt.com/us/products/tool_detail.asp?productID=13594)
 I am very confused as to wether I should go with the Icecream or listen to my hubcaps and upgrade my potato couch pictured in that link?
  
 
  
  
    You could always go for both, RJM. :D
  
 
  
  
    But that would be benevolent to both of them, and I hold grudges excessively