Okay here is the somewhat long but extremely funny "real newspaper headline list". Thank me later
 
 Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
 
 Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
 
 Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
 
 Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
 
 Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
 
 Farmer Bill Dies in House
 
 Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
 
 Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
 
 Stud Tires Out
 
 Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
 
 Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
 
 Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
 
 British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
 
 Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
 
 Eye Drops off Shelf
 
 Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
 
 Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
 
 Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
 
 Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
 
 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
 
 Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
 
 Miners Refuse to Work after Death
 
 Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
 
 Stolen Painting Found by Tree
 
 Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
 
 Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
 
 Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
 
 Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
 
 Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
 
 War Dims Hope for Peace
 
 If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
 
 Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
 
 Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
 
 Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
 
 Deer Kill 17,000
 
 Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
 
 Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
 
 New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
 
 Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
 
 Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
 
 Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
 
 Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
 
 British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
 
 Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
 
 Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
 
 Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
 
 New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
 
 Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
 
 Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
 
 Air Head Fired
 
 Steals Clock, Faces Time
 
 Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
 
 Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
 
 Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
 
 Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
 
 Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
 
 Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
 
 Include your Children when Baking Cookies
  
 
  
  
    Leno? White Trash Female???
 
 Say what, over?
  
 
  
  
    I laughed so hard, I woke my mom up ans she got out of bed to see what was so funny!
 
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 would you stand still if you were being approached by two naked men with Ewok food smeared all over them?
  
 
  
  
    Hey I've got some funny stories here that might interest you guys. Should I post em?
  
 
  
  
    Haha.Hey Taarkin?What would you do?I certainly WOULD NOT stand still.YECH!!!
 Hey Raven.POST EM.POST EM.POST EM.PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
  
 
  
  
    Please don't post any funny stories here. This is a serious forum.
  <font size=1>(Yeah, right... 
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    "Man shot 4 times, authorities suspect suicide" that actually appeared in a local newspaper a while back. wierd...
  
 
  
  
    I laughed so hard I cried.
  
 
  
  
    Hey Taarkin, you read X-wing series books?
  
 
  
  
    Wow you had to dig back to get this thread!
  
 
  
  
    Wow. 
http://www.roguesquadron.net/forums/icons/icon3.gif)   
 That was a peculiar, yet somehow perceptive reply, R.A.V.E.N.... 
http://indigo.ie/~owenc/starwars/images/PBsmile1a.gif)  
 You know how suspicious I get when I see such things coming from your direction....*(j\k)* 
http://www.roguesquadron.net/forums/biggrin.gif) 
 ...and if you didn't, well then - NOW you do! 
http://www.roguesquadron.net/forums/biggrin.gif)
  
 
  
  
    Wha.... huh..... Who has woken me from my slumber?! Oh! LT. G! That was, un-nerving...... 
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    Ah, lack of nerve has never been a problem LT. 
http://www.roguesquadron.net/forums/biggrin.gif)